I was born
with a silver spoon and pray to feed my kids with it, am from a wealthy home
where discipline is displayed, truth and
facts are been exhibited.
My late dad
was a commercial lawyer and my late mum, a trader that is well known in the
community. I am literate with good educational background until I fell into the
hands of a prey that got me pregnant @ the age of 20. I did not have any
choice other than to get married to him because of his plead and
that of his family based on the fact that he has never in his life
“impregnated” a lady before, so I agreed.
I thought, it
is going to be fine but a day after the wedding, I cried my life out asking
myself “WHY” do I have to live the rest of my life with a man I knew during
courtship………nags, scold and beat me, I kept pondering until a woman came to
wipe away my unending tears.
I had my kids
but still not happy, they were going to good schools, you will not believe that
I also contribute to their fees, of which my siblings should not be aware,
despite the fact that I feed, cloth and shelter the family because am working
in a reputable establishment.
One day, I
realized that my so-called hubby is now having extra marital affairs, it gave
me a great concern in the sense that, I fend for the home. When his friends got
to know about his character, they started luring, asking me out, sending gifts,
it got to a stage that I had to inform my sister, who in turn said, if my MUM
did not do such act……………..then I should not indulge myself in it, though, I
was not bothered about his way of life but on my future, which I see is bright.
I keep trying my effort to make things go smooth on the part of my kid’s
education, welfare and so because he does not care and they too are afraid to
go closer to him.
I remembered
the last Sunday in March, when he came back from a journey with anger; I was
calm until he called me asking irrational questions which I gave him a concrete
answers. It got to a stage where I had to flare up asking, if they sent him to
me before I knew what is happening, I
found myself in d hospital after getting a terrible beating .He never for once
drop feeding allowance but he is always interested in his ‘tummy’.
During the
Ramadan period, I learn t from his friends that a woman within the community do
prepare his food for him to break the fast. It came to me as a shock; I later
realized that he keeps late night, yet I did not complain so that I don’t get
the beating of my life again.
One morning,
I sat down to have a re-think of my life, the best place for me to enjoy a happy
home like every other women, best car to ride, best school to send my kids
without seeing the fees as barrier.
I have feelings that, God is alive. He sees
what am facing and will ONE GOOD DAY, grant me my heart desires. I still regret
why I got married to a man that is heart hardened, a man that does not know
what is right at the appropriate time, a man that remains food in his mouth, I
can’t imagine myself in such a hand that is self centered.
Oh
Lord………………..show me where my destiny lies, so that I can begin to live a
good ,straight and lively life again .I suffer and smile softly in my
closet, neighbors and friends thinks all
is ‘WELL’ but only God that
sees the inner mind can testify.
All I need
now is a caring man like my father that i will marry, love and fondle with my
kids and I and give us a sense of belonging. That will not make life miserable
for us and will not put me into shame even in the mist of my siblings and
friends. Give me joy, hope and the best of life.
I pray my
good plans work out so FAST, within a winkle of an eye, GOD leading and helping
me.
published by Odion Vera Taiwo Willians
No comments:
Post a Comment