Tuesday, 12 August 2014

MY MARRIAGE IS MY NIGHTMARE




There is nothing as beautiful as a young girl’s life at fifteen. Life is so sweet, you have just attained puberty. You watched with a little bit of anxiety as your body changed into that of a young beautiful woman. I remember standing in front of the mirror sometimes glancing at the small round beautiful and shapely mounds that confirms my feminity. In another couple of years, I will be a full grown young Adult  lady.

To me, life has just begun at Fifteen, and its one full of possibilities, hope, and a future adorned with beautiful flowery shrubs on my paths. I felt like a princess... a Cinderella or Alice about to begin her story.

I was alone in my room; I slipped away the wrapper I usually slept in. I touched my small nipples while standing in front of the mirror one warm hazy Sunday morning. I squeezed them ever so gently and felt a tingly sensation sweep all over my body. I giggled and looked down on my crotch where yellowish hairs were sprouting and turning black gradually since I was 13. I glanced at a pair of scissors on my desk and wondered if I should weed out the ugly hairs sprouting here and there. I don’t like the sight of it, but I decided against weeding it out. I will leave it till I clock 16 in a couple of months.

Unconsciously I slipped my right hand lower to my tummy and touched my belly button while retaining my left hand on my right nipple. I slid a finger lower... lower... and shuddered as a sudden wave of ecstasy hit me. It felt nice touching myself like this, the tingly sensation that sweeps over my body, and the reassuring thought that I’m still a virgin. Yet somehow, it still felt wrong. Wrong to touch myself.

I hurriedly picked up my wrapper as I heard footsteps approaching. It was my mum. She wanted me to assist her in cooking the Sunday Rice, Salad, and Ukwa, the common name we gave breadfruit in my native Igbo Language. Instantly I knew we are going to have a visitor or several visitors. Normally, my mum will be yelling at me to prepare for Sunday church service, but any Sunday we were going to have a visitor or more than 1, I’m always made to stay home and assist her in cooking while my dad and siblings attend that day’s Sunday service.

I slipped on my underwear, then picked up a T-shirt and slipped it on too. I then proceeded to spread a paste over my toothbrush. Tucked it into my mouth and gleefully sauntered out of my room into the kitchen to join my mum.

I was happy. There will be enough food for everyone today. We will be busy for the rest of the morning till the arrival of the visitor(s). But that did not bother me as I am always happy to help in the kitchen. I hummed a tune under my breath as I brushed my teeth slowly like my mum had taught me at age 3. I had no care. No worry. No inhibitons. Nothing to suggest that the day’s event, is going to trigger a series of events that will shape the next 6 years of my life.

My name is Nkeonye Madumere. I’m 15 years plus few months and about to complete my Senior School Certificate Exam. You are about to read the sordid story of the next 6 years of my life. Our Visitor that fateful Sunday was a man called Mr. Kenneth Abah. Due to his frequent visits, I called him Brother or Uncle while assuming he might be a relation. Little did I know that this man was my Suitor and soon to be husband. He is also the Architect of this sordid story... No scratch that. My Parents are the Architect and I’m both the willing and unwilling Pawn in this insane game of monopoly- Willing because I went along with it, while believing what I was doing is “getting married”; Unwilling because I was too young to see the bigger picture and implications. I was led to believe that the dream of every girl is to marry, raise children and take care of her home. I wish I knew then, what I knew now; that my virginity was being sold to the highest bidder.


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Mr. Ken Abah is a rich 34 years old businessman. We got married after a few Introductions and “Negotiatons” with my Parents and Relations. The Wedding was grand and it was one of the happiest days of my life.

Today, after exactly 13 Years of marriage, I am now 28 blessed with 4 Kids and I have gained considerable weights. I own a hairdressing Salon and I drive a Convertible Honda CRV. I live in a big house with lots of room to spare, as we hardly accommodate relative because my husband doesn’t tolerate such.

Don’t think I have a good life. I don’t and I’d do anything right now to get out of this sham called marriage.

I am being bruised and battered everyday in front of my kids. My husband brings home different women and I have no say. If I do, another round of beating awaits me. I struggle everyday to keep my family together. Getting out of the marriage isn’t in the equation as my husband will have none of it. He’d sworn to hunt me down and kill me and have my kids to himself alone. He nearly live up to that promise once when I ran away and pitched tent with a Childhood friend, He practically dragged me home from there and promptly got the two innocent couples arrested. I sometimes wish he will just, up and do it... just kill me, so I can have a long and lasting rest from this cruel and nasty world.

Where have I gone wrong in my sojourn for a happy life and existence? What have I not done to please my husband and bring peace and love into my home? I wouldn’t mind if he takes in a 2nd wife, if that will give me the peace I need to bring up my kids with the fear of the Lord. Is there no pastor I haven’t visited and Earth-moving prayers I haven’t prayed? But it seems everything I do irks him and he’s out to humiliate me daily and make life a living hell for me. People now see me regularly in large dark shades as I drive by and think I’m just enjoying my marriage. In reality, I am only hiding the bruises and red eyes I usually get after each battering.

My dear readers, I need your advice, prayers and direction.

Perhaps, just perhaps I will yet enjoy my marriage and be happy. I’m fat now! I look older than 45 years old. I only have a Senior School Certificate and no man will have me after giving birth to for kids, not to mention that I’m currently pregnant for the 5th.

Your Kind inputs will be highly appreciated.

 

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